i'm so enlightened, i can barely survive a night in my mind....

i think a lot about depth, which i suppose means i'm shallow. i wonder, am i deep? what is depth? is it a relative thing, like i can be more deep (deeper?) than billy, but less deep than sally? is it caring about political or global issues? because i'm really not deep then. is it being into philosophy or reading the classics? i fail those tests too.

being educated and all, i feel like i should be deep, but it's just not there. did i miss something important along the way? is this something i should strive for, or is it inherent in those who have it? i also feel like i want to be deep, but for very shallow reasons--so i can hang out with other deep people. these are the people i have in my mind as desirable to hang out with. i once thought that my aforementioned corduroy jacket and plastic frame glasses would be enough to weasel my way into their circles, but now i wonder if there is a requisite amount of depth needed to break in.

but maybe it's just me. maybe "they" don't really exist. i love my friends and i really don't need to try and find a new, different type of friend to hang out with. (i know i'm ending sentences with prepositions, but i like it better. thanks for reading!) i even have a friend who works at a coffee shop..that has to account for a couple inches of depth right?