i'm not so sure what i was dreaming about, but i'm sure that it was better than this....

things i'm terrible at:

poker--i used to think i was good, but apparently i'm not. i used to think other people were luckier than me, but apparently they're just better. (and i don't believe in consistent luck.) i used to think that i was on a bad streak and that i was due, but apparently i'm doomed to a fate of one cent/two cent omaha hi/lo online. i asked my roommate to evaluate my style of play to help me prepare for my upcoming vegas trip. he told me i play too "by the book," as one might expect from a "practical" and "resaonable" person. this is true, in that i get very scared when i'm a 47% to 53% underdog and become embarrassingly frustrated when someone makes a terrible play (not "by the book") that beats me. i'm the first one to say poker is a flawed game, so hopefully that's why this "by the book" player consistently loses.

talking to people--my friends are well-acquainted with my self-diagnosed social anxiety disorder (SAD). most tell me i'm delusional (which, surprisingly, doesn't make me feel better), but i still believe it. i can't handle meeting new people...i throw in an absurd amount of "uh huh"s and "wow"s hoping they'll figure out how uncomfortable i am. but most do not. and i'm a conversational counterpuncher, meaning i'm not one to start up conversations or initiate new topics, but i'm happy to respond. this is probably the part of my personality that bugs me the most.

over analyzing--i don't understand how everyone isn't an over analyzer. but if everyone was, it would just be called "analyzing," and things would be easier for us over analyzers. we go into a situation assuming everyone is being as careful with every word and action as we are. then, based on that assumption, we tear apart every word and action we've just heard and seen. but the whole process falls apart when the party being analyzed is not an over analyzer. these people do not pay attention to that single word in an email that might change the tone of the entire thing. "uh oh, she wrote 'remiss' instead of 'negligent.' she must hate me." they don't make sure to mention the insignificant things that are so significant. "uh oh, she didn't talk about my new shoelaces. she must hate me." these things (read: i) make my life quite difficult.